Monday, 19 October 2009

It's like looking in a mirror

I was reading the Metro website this morning and saw a picture of Cheryl Cole performing on this weekend's X-Factor.

It got me thinking.....I remember when she used to be a totally bad ass WWE wrestler...

Wednesday, 14 October 2009

Fun and Games

So, Liz and I still have 7 weeks until the final day at work the boredom has truely set in. And so in an effort to avoid our brains turning to goo we have decided to create a comprehensive guide to games you can make and play in the office.

GAME 1:Redundancy Draughts

Based entirely on the classic board game draughts except with a board made with materials you can find in the office.

To make Redundancy Draughts you will need:
The cardboard back of a A4 note pad
Black and red marker pens.

Step 1: Measure and cut out a square from the card that is 8 inches by 8 inches. Marking each inch with a pencil.
Step 2: Draw in the squares. The squares should be 8 squares by 8. 64 squares.
Step 3: Using the black marker pen colour in alternative squares until you have a draughts board
Step 4: Using the rest of the card cut out 24 small circles. These are your counters. Colour 12 red and 12 black.

Redundancy draughts works best when played between opposite desks. The you can hide the fact you are actually playing a game by positioning the board behind your computers rather than actually doing any work.


There will be more games over the next few weeks. Tell your friends and spread the fun!

Tuesday, 29 September 2009

Hanging tough...

I have now applied for 23 jobs with others in varying stages of completion and i'm starting to flag. I have had 6 rejections, I have 1 interview and the others have not replied (as yet). The stress is starting to hurt if i'm honest. I'm motivated to keep going but i'm starting to worry if I can maintain it.
The monotony of looking for a job when people don't even reply is awful. It's like living in limbo.
Meanwhile it's now 9 weeks and counting until my final day here. It can't come soon enough and my fingers are continually crossed that someone will mention the golden words..."gardening leave"!!!

I'm also working on my top 5 dream jobs. Not unsimilar to THE LIST of top 5 dream jobs probably

Rob Gordon's Top 5 Dream Jobs

Journalist for Rolling Stone magazine, 1976 to 1979
Producer, Atlantic Records, 1964 to 1971
Any kind of musician, besides classical or rap
Film director, any kind except German or silent
Architect (replace by record store owner

I was thinking...
Journalist for Select, Melody Maker and NME early to mid nineties
Producer, Motown or Stax
Anything at Nasa in the 50s so I could wear cool glasses and have pens in my pocket
List compiler - obviously this isn't a real job but it should be
record store owner (if record shops still had the potential to be anything but a money pit)

I'll keep thinking....

Tuesday, 15 September 2009

Damn it feels good to be a gangster....

I am now 2 and a half months away from unemployment and i'll be honest panic is beginning to set in.

I am finding myself agonising over the vicious circle of getting up and going to work every single day when I know that if I didn't turn up I don't think anyone would notice. I have applied for a mountain of jobs and as yet think i've only had replies from 3!! I actually went on a website today for Reed recruitment which, next to each job on offer, tells you how many people have applied for it. Now, what i will tell you here is that this does NOT instill you with any kind of confidence when embarking on the daunting task of finding post-redundancy work...oh no...for one job only there were 347 applicants!!!

This is a worry.

I increasingly believe that no one reads application forms and they just pick the contestants out of a hat or maybe pick the one's that sound like they might be HOT.

Anyway, my tactics have changed slightly and as "R" day draws ever closer I have started to apply for Christmas temp jobs in shops. I like shops. I worked in them for a very very long time and I actually think I would really enjoy working in one again. The crack is good and your days go a lot faster if you get to interact with people and don't just sit behind a desk. However, maybe I'm too old to be a Christmas temp, they'll all be hanging around the tea room talking about Lady Gaga and Laroux and I'll be outside smoking and listening to Stevie Wonder. Yes I can still kick it...but can I still kick it?? If you know what I mean. I'll be an almost 30 year old woman chillin with 17 year old emo kids discussing the merits of Fall Out Boy.

To be fair, this might not actually happen cos one of the shops I've applied to is Collectables. Ahhh Collectables - home to Lilliputt figures and Radley Bags. I can converse with collegues about wool and Barker and Stonehouse furniture. I may be turning into Mark Corrigan.

Anyway I guess we'll see what happens but i'm crossing both fingers to get the job working in the sorting office for Royal mail where I can pretend I'm Buddy in Elf!

Monday, 29 June 2009

I want to go to the Maaaarket

To fulfill my lifetime ambition of being just like Cosmo and Dibs I am doing the Star and Shadow craft market. And I am shitting myself.
Who would have thought knitting could be so stressful????!!!!


Thursday, 4 June 2009

Have you ever felt like you're not getting the whole story???????

Friday, 1 May 2009


The past week has been fuller than a Walkers grab bag.... of gigs.

Firstly, The crowning glory of gigs, maybe ever but only time will tell, opening night of The Specials reunion tour.

FUCKING AWESOME. Simple as that. Sitting in Rafferty's beforehand was like being in an episode of Ashes to Ashes (if only Gene Hunt was there). I have never seen so much well intended but ill-fitting Fred Perry in my life. The atmosphere inside the gig was pretty much as electric as I have ever known a gig to be. I imagine once you get older and your favourite bands are no more you never really beleive that they might actually reappear when you've all grows up and you've all but given up hope. This is obviously how I would feel should Jarvis ever see fit to tie up his disco shoes ever once again.

It's was amazing. Terry Hall has grown into his sallow face and actually developed a personality. Nite Klub alone is now ranked in my top ten best gig moments....ever. Note to self: This is a good top ten avenue to explore.

Secondly, Alan Rake and the Rakes. I like seeing bands that I have liked for a while and their star has started to fade a little bit. Obviously this isn't their ideal career trajectory and slightly selfish on my part but seeing band members wandering around the pub before the gig makes me feel cool in strange way. When I was a teenager that is something I would have thought was definitely very cool. Smoking outside in close proximity to the guitarist from the Rakes. Sweeeeet.

They were great. Of course they were it's Alan 'n' that. They play fast, talk fast and encourage people to drink on a school night. I like this. Didn't do Work, work, work though...bummer.

Finally, Doves. No one's favourite band but everybody loves them. The new songs sounded awesome. I love how people always seem to be swept away with them. Especially if they haven't seen them before. They have a real knack of putting you under their spell. I think that the constant, pounding (not the drum beat of Pounding...well maybe) is actually a form of Manc voodoo.

All in all a very good week